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The chicken and the horse

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.

Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer’s new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope, hoping he’d be in time to save his friend’s life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear fender of the farmer’s bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals!

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit and soon, he too began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story?
“When You’re Hung Like A Horse, You Don’t Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks.”

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joke i heard in my intro to human sexuality class today :D
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(Source: crentist, via dolewhiplash)

I don’t wanna get up I’m a stay in bed kid

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chrisozer:

POP!

Knot & Bow Confetti Balloons

(via sideorderofbeef)

audio

 - Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf

luffndstuff:

umbriss:

thesmuggledplum:

heart-snatchers:

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME OF YEAR IT IS AGAIN MOTHER FUCKERS

What the actual fuck hahahaha

The harmonies on this are actually really tight and it’s a well made funny song. I showed this to a friend the other day, actually.

(via tryingtothinkpositive)

maisiewilliams:

you were named after the bravest man I ever knew, xkit guy potter-

(via disappointingrobot)

video

sc0lio:

bestrooftalkever:

party-wok:

julierthanyou:

clambistro:

Ahh, it’s back

i have disproportionately strong feelings about this.

every time i say “nah i’m not gonna watch it again.” BUT I STILL DO EVERY TIME.

YEAUGH

I LITERALLY CRIED LAUGHING ALONE IN MY DORM AND I AM POSITIVE SOMEONE HEARD ME

(Source: videohall, via disappointingrobot)

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OMG THIS IS ACTUALLY SUPER AWESOME AND HELPFUL FOR THE MOBILE APP??

OMG THIS IS ACTUALLY SUPER AWESOME AND HELPFUL FOR THE MOBILE APP??

those people who talk a hella lot and then complain about how much their mom talks on the phone..